Parents are literally the
creators of their children. We tend to think of God as our Creator, which He
is. But He didn’t create us out of nothing. He partnered with our parents as
co-creators. This is a position of great honor. We represent God to our children
and we will be judged for how we steward this responsibility.
God created men and women in His image so they could
in turn create sons and daughters in their image. When Adam and Eve gave birth
to Seth, who was the beginning of a godly family legacy on the earth, Genesis 5:3 says Adam “became the
father of a son in his own likeness, according to his image…” Being
able to reproduce ourselves is core to our identity as image-bearers. We can
more fully relate to God as a Father and as a nurturer (ex. Deuteronomy 32:18, Isaiah
49:15, 66:13, Matthew
Being a parent teaches us about God’s
experience. We create free-will beings that bear our image. We feel unconditional
love for them. We carefully control their
environment to nurture them like God did in the Garden of Eden. We give them
commands for their protection like God did with Adam and Eve. We allow them to
exercise their free-wills and experience the consequences of their choices like
God did when mankind fell. We want to bless our
children and help them mature, but we cannot control them like robots. We guide
them the best we can, but they ultimately decide for themselves whether to
return our love, what choices to make, and what kind of character to develop.
In early childhood, parents are literally
like God to their children. Children look to their parents for everything.
They learn how to walk, talk, and think by watching their parents. They learn
how to treat others, what a man is like, what a woman is like, right from
wrong, and truth from error. They believe whatever their parents teach and
imitate whatever they model. They are like soft clay in a potter’s hands. After
co-creating their physical bodies at conception and birth, parents go on to
shape their children’s souls.
Parenthood
is a call to ministry.
Jesus said in Matthew 18:5, “Whoever receives one such child in My name
receives Me.” The ultimate fulfillment of this statement is parenthood. Parenthood
is also a call to greatness. Jesus said in Luke 9:48, saying, “Whoever receives this child in My name receives Me,
and whoever receives Me receives Him who sent Me; for the one who is least among all of
you, this is the one who is great.”
A primary purpose for becoming a parent
can be found in Romans 8:29, which says, “For those who He foreknew, He also
predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.” We become parents
to be conformed to Christ’s image. Successful parenting causes us to become
someone worthy of our children’s emulation so that when they see us, they see
something of God’s nature.
People
only retain a small percentage of the information they are taught, but retain
as much as 90% of the information they teach to someone else. This is good news
for parents since parenting gives us occasion to teach wisdom and righteousness
to our children. When we teach our children, the Lord continually checks our
hearts against our words. If we teach them about forgiveness, respect for
authority, humility, stewardship of time/money/talents, etc.…, the Holy Spirit
is right there to ask us whether we are doing those things ourselves.
What We Long For
Human beings are relational. We crave love and
acceptance. One reason there is nothing more
wonderful than being in God’s presence in heaven is because He is the Ultimate
Source of security, identity, and purpose. With Him, we are fully known and
fully loved. With Him, we know we have infinite value.
By contrast, there is nothing more
terrible than being separated from God in hell. In hell, there is no sense of
being loved or secure. There is no purpose to fulfill or hope for the future.
There is only grief and fear.
As representatives of God, parents have
the power to give their children tastes of heaven or tastes of hell. There is
nothing more wonderful for a child than being unconditionally loved by its
creators. The security and identity that come from such a home environment are
irreplaceable. However, there is nothing more awful for a child than being
neglected or abused. The insecurity and trauma this produces can be
unbearable.
God Delights in Us
Several
years ago, I was planning to spend a day with my seven-year-old cousin, but I
felt a little anxious because I wasn’t sure what we could do that would be fun for
her. When I shared this with my wife Jenny she said, “What matters most is
that you genuinely enjoy being with her. If she senses that, it will impart so
much value to her and it won’t matter as much what activity you end up doing.”
This resonated. About 15 minutes later I
sat down for a devotional time and happened to read John 15:11, which says, “These
things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may
be made full.” It struck me that the greatest joy we were created for is to
experience God delighting in us. Just the like passage says, first He takes joy
in us, then our joy is made full as a result.
When children experience their parents
delighting in them, they begin to believe they are valuable, loved, and secure.
A parent’s capacity to give this to his children is related to how much he is
experiencing this himself from God. Therefore, a parent’s first task is to grow
closer to God so we can better mirror Him to our children.
Next
In the next chapter, we will learn more
about how God fathers His children.