Purity is not a popular topic in our
culture. But it should be. Because purity enhances physical intimacy in
marriage. Purity saves all the sexual desire God hard-wired into men and women
for the perfect context, where it can be expressed freely without shame or
regret. However, when sexual desire begins to be aroused or expressed in impure
ways, either through thoughts or actions, it diminishes the power of God’s gift
and introduces underlying guilt.
To learn
more about purity, let’s turn to the book of Proverbs, which identifies three factors that affect
purity for men in particular, but they are applicable to women as well. The
first is modeling from a father figure. The second is purity in women. The
third is a satisfying sexual relationship in marriage. Let’s briefly look at
each one.
First – Father Figures and Purity
Nothing sets a man’s feet
on a course for sexual fulfillment like a father figure who models purity. The primary voice that speaks in Proverbs 5-7 regarding sexual
purity is that of a father speaking to his son. Here’s how three of these
passages begin:
“My son, give attention to my wisdom.” (5:1)
“My son, observe the commandment of your
father.” (6:20)
“My son, keep my words, and treasure my
commandments within you…”
(7:1)
It is human nature to be conformed into the image of
whatever we spend the most time beholding. This is why 2 Corinthians 3:18 says
it is by “beholding” Him that we are “transformed into the same
image” and why Hebrews 2:12 says to fix “our eyes on Jesus.”
One of the ways men can behold Christ is by observing
His attributes in a father figure who is older and more mature. When a father
models sexual purity, it creates an association
between masculinity and purity. It connects courage with overcoming lust. It demonstrates
that purity in a depraved world is heroic rather than something to be mocked.
Second – Purity in Women
It is interesting that one of the characters in Proverbs
who helps men overcome lust is Wisdom, personified as a woman. For example,
Proverbs 7:4-5 says:
“Say to
wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’ and call understanding your intimate friend; that
they may keep you from an adulteress, from the foreigner who flatters with her
words.”
Women of purity break the power of lust in men’s lives
like nothing else can. Why? Because they expose the devil’s counterfeit for
what it is – cheap and inferior.
There is an attraction a man feels for a woman of
purity that goes way beyond sexual gratification. Godly physical attraction is
part of it, but it goes deeper, down to the person she is in her heart.
Feminine purity calls to the masculine soul in a way that makes him want to be
something more, something better, something greater than he is right now. He
wants to be worthy of loving and serving her, of being her covering and
protector. He realizes it would be an honor to be chosen by her.
A stark contrast exists between godly beauty and
worldly beauty. There
is nothing more beautiful in the world than a woman who knows with confidence
that she is loved both by God and by her covering, such as a husband or a
father. She radiates. It is so different than the world’s version of beauty,
which is based on seduction and vanity, is devoid of character, and quickly
fades away. Godly beauty grows greater with time rather than diminishing.
Third – A Satisfying Marriage
Proverbs 5:15-19 says:
“Drink water from
your own cistern and fresh water from your own well… Let
your fountain
be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
let her breasts satisfy you at
all times; be exhilarated always with her love.”
God delights in passionate intimacy between two of his
children who are married.
The passage above attests to this, as does the entire book of Song of Solomon. Christians should be
known for our esteem of sexual intimacy more than
any other group since we are the ones most capable of seeing it for what it is
– a wonderful gift from the Creator.
Sex as God
created is pure and shameless. It is far superior to the substitutes offered by
the world and the enemy. The world says sex is not exciting unless there is at
least some degree of dirtiness in it. For some married Christians, it takes
years of pursuing purity to detoxify our minds from thinking about sex the way
the media portrays it, but the perseverance is well worth it.